For Trick Or Treating I put a bowl out with a sign that said "TAKE ONE PLEASE, WE'RE WATCHING YOU!!"

I didn't put any candy in the bowl, just the sign. Some punk kid stole my bowl.

This sucks, that was my moms good bowl, I only put it out cause they are out of town. Damn, she's going to be pissed when she finds out what happened.

I just wanted to take the candy she bought for the trick or treaters and keep it for myself.

I guess this is a lesson learned.

My mom gave me $20.00 to buy some food while her and my dad were outta town. I didn't use the money for food. I went to the porno shop and rented some pornos. While I was paying some kids I went to school with walked in. They walked past and I could here them talking about me, than as I was leaving they called me Steven Jerkoff. This was my nickname in High School, see my last name kinda rhymes with Jerkoff. They were like "Hey now we know why he has that nickname STEVEN JERKOFF!!!!" They yelled it really loud.

Click Here To View My Hello Ladies Page

Send pictures of yourself with a sign saying Perkoff Rules! to Perkoff@gmail.com

Labels: perkoff.rules

Labels: photoshop

One of the most memorable characters ever has gone to the big beer hall in the sky to start raising hell again with The Bruiser. All praise The Crusher, dead Saturday October 22, 2005 at age 79.

The Crusher -- Reggie Lisowski to a few -- was a true American original. Promoted as "The Wrestler Who Made Milwaukee Famous," he'd brag about running along the Lake Michigan waterfront with a keg of beer on each shoulder so he could get in shape to polka all night with the town's many Polish barmaids.

In July 1999, The Crusher made an appearance at a racetrack in Kenosha, WI. Some of his comments perfectly sum up who he was and what he meant to wrestling.



"These turkeyneck bums they got wrestling, some of them couldn't shine Crusher or Bruiser's shoes," the gravelly-voiced, cigar-chomping tough guy said. "I come up the hard way. I had all these cage matches. I wrestled in the cage more than any other rassler in the history of rasslin.' I got all the scars to prove it. The time I wrestled Mad Dog [Vachon] in the cage, I had to go to the hospital, and he had to go to the veterinarian to get sown up.

"I had a lot of tough, rough matches through my life, but the only thing that kept me going is the way I built my body up. Just like you build a building brick by brick, I built this body up muscle by muscle! I been knocked down, I been hit with bar stools, I've been hit with chairs, I've been hit with bar maids, I've been hit with bar rags, but nobody ever knocked The Crusher down [for good].

Read The Entire Article

Labels: photoshop

Oakland Raiders wide receiver Randy Moss, who suffered rib and groin injuries during Sunday's game against the San Diego Chargers, demanded "large quantities of medicinal marijuana and a couple bags of chips" from his team doctor, sources said yesterday.

"Make that about five bags of chips," Moss said. "The good weed really gets my snack groove on."

An anonymous NFL official said Moss "smokes the ganja about as frequently as he smokes defensive backs...we have a real problem on our hands here."

"If this medicinal stuff is weaker than the original, my doctor better give me a huge amount," Moss said. "I've found two suitcases full usually does the trick."

"Mr. Moss is trying to manipulate the NFL drug policy with his evil designs," said NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue.

"Dude don't know what he's talking about," Moss said in response. "I mean, I leave the Minnesota Vikings and they end up turning a cruise ship into Caligula's summer home. Go figure, man."

Read The Whole Article (I think someone made this shit up)

A few weeks ago I was searching for a place to advertise my website PERKOFF.COM. I went into a chat room the day I was searching for places and mentioned that that was what I was doing. All of the sudden this lady instant messages me and tells me she has some space to place an ad. I asked her price, she told $1000 for life. I said "What?, that's sort of cheap for a lifetime ad, you must be a con-man, leave me alone."

She told me she was desperate for cash and that the space my ad will be placed gets alot of views. I was still skeptical and I talked her down to $500, and 10 happy meals from McDoanlds, she claimed it was for her son, but I have a strong feeling it was actually for her.

Labels: photoshop

I was in a Yahoo chat room and I was looking for sexy girls, I finally got a girl to send me her picture.



Her name is Kevinetta. I said "That's a weird name" She said her parents are black.

Labels: photoshop

This is a great idea for a movie.

Poor guy.

Labels: photoshop

A guy comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with another man, there's two dead people.

A guy comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with another woman, and it's

"Hey man take my picture with my shirt off in front of this pyramid of beer cans, it will never wind up on some guys blog."

A Maine scientist is preparing to release details of a $1 million reward for a photograph that leads to the live capture of Bigfoot, the abominable snowman or the Loch Ness Monster.

"It's the time for something like this," Coleman said. "Back in the 1960s, hardly anybody was talking about this. Today, it's phenomenal."

The $1 million bounty would be paid by a company to anyone who produces a photograph that leads to the live capture of one of the three creatures, Coleman said.

"We don't want people running around with guns trying to kill something to get the money," Coleman said. "It's not a contest, either. It's a very specific bounty that depends on the permanent capture of a live specimen, with emphasis on 'live.'"

Read The Whole Article

Labels: photoshop

Remember the times when we were young enough not to be able to tell the difference between a good match and a bad one? When every match could be summed up in three seconds by spouting "I'm glad he won, he's awesome!" or "I can't believe he won, I HATE him!" When words and phrases like workrate and kayfabe and selling and "getting a push" and "putting someone over" didn't mean anything? When we thought that wrestlers were above human beings, who could never get hurt?
















And those people that enjoyed poking holes in our enjoyment by telling us it was fake? They didn't know anything!

Today, fans know about contract disputes and backstage squabbles and spot protecting and everything else that brings the business side of the business to the table. It's not uncommon to hear elementary school age children saying things like, "That didn't look good, he's selling the wrong arm!" and "He'll lose that title soon, because his contract's almost up." Personally, I think far too much independent thought goes into a business that's built entirely on fakery.

Read The Rest Of The DVD Review of The Self Destruction of The Ultimate Warrior.

She lived a few states away and I drove to meet her for sexual intercourse...Than all of the sudden in July 2002 she instant messages me.

Now this is art.

Labels: photoshop

This picture sends a good message to the youth.

Labels: photoshop

Labels: photoshop

Have you ever started to jackoff and have your mom come in the room? I'm sure it's happened to alot of you guys out there. I wish my mom would at least knock before she comes in my room. My Mom Caught Me Jacking Off.