Tuesday, March 20, 2007
List Of Little People
SomethingAwful.com
Eric Lynch AKA Eric the Midget
How you know him: Fans of The Howard Stern Show on Sirius know him as Eric the Midget, the perpetually ungrateful and wheelchair-bound monster "the size of a Butterball Turkey".
Eric Lynch is an unhappy member of Howard Stern's Wack Pack, a menagerie of miscreants and genetic mistakes composed of callers and unusual guests to the Howard Stern radio show. Dubbed "Eric the Midget" for obvious reasons, Lynch prefers to be called "Eric the Actor" and will often leave venomous messages on the Stern show voice mail referring to various staff members as "faggots" and "jackasses".
Lynch makes the list and ranks so high because he is an uncommonly angry and possibly even evil midget. He is surly even when being offered gifts and compensation. His only apparent skill is that he knows everything about American Idol. He obsesses over various Stern-related Internet message boards.
Eric the made man: Lynch most recently gained infamy for ordering a hit of some sort against a caller to the Howard Stern radio show. The caller claimed to have attended high school with Lynch and stated that a number of disruptive concessions, such as the construction of ramps and elevators, were made by the school for the tiny terror. Lynch contacted a person with supposed mob ties and instructed the man to track down the caller. The message ended with Lynch intoning ominously, "You know what to do. You know what to do." No word on whether or not the midget FBI has been notified of his wee mob activities.
Shining moment: In a fit of bad judgment by Stern staffers, Lynch was given the phone number of American Idol contestant Katherine McPhee and called her so many times that she refused to appear on the radio show. Imagine the answering machine scene from Swingers with a raspy hostile midget trying to get his rambling messages in before the beep.
Eric Lynch AKA Eric the Midget
How you know him: Fans of The Howard Stern Show on Sirius know him as Eric the Midget, the perpetually ungrateful and wheelchair-bound monster "the size of a Butterball Turkey".Eric Lynch is an unhappy member of Howard Stern's Wack Pack, a menagerie of miscreants and genetic mistakes composed of callers and unusual guests to the Howard Stern radio show. Dubbed "Eric the Midget" for obvious reasons, Lynch prefers to be called "Eric the Actor" and will often leave venomous messages on the Stern show voice mail referring to various staff members as "faggots" and "jackasses".
Lynch makes the list and ranks so high because he is an uncommonly angry and possibly even evil midget. He is surly even when being offered gifts and compensation. His only apparent skill is that he knows everything about American Idol. He obsesses over various Stern-related Internet message boards.
Eric the made man: Lynch most recently gained infamy for ordering a hit of some sort against a caller to the Howard Stern radio show. The caller claimed to have attended high school with Lynch and stated that a number of disruptive concessions, such as the construction of ramps and elevators, were made by the school for the tiny terror. Lynch contacted a person with supposed mob ties and instructed the man to track down the caller. The message ended with Lynch intoning ominously, "You know what to do. You know what to do." No word on whether or not the midget FBI has been notified of his wee mob activities.
Shining moment: In a fit of bad judgment by Stern staffers, Lynch was given the phone number of American Idol contestant Katherine McPhee and called her so many times that she refused to appear on the radio show. Imagine the answering machine scene from Swingers with a raspy hostile midget trying to get his rambling messages in before the beep.
posted by Perkoff at 6:12 PM