My dog got stuck in the wild bush outside and I had to get him unstuck.

Here's another video of my dog eating his poop. All you people that freak out over dogs eating poop should not watch this video and not yell at me if you do, cause I already warned you what's in the video.

I was feeling tired so I went to bed, I should have stayed up cause I had another Freddy nightmare.




A Nightmare In Perkoff's Fridge

Labels: freddy

I made this video before called The Glass Walking Weirdo. Here is the unedited video, all 11 minutes and 35 seconds of it. You have to watch the ending when he starts to beg everyone for money and everyone takes off.

A schoolboy who climbed over a fence into a crocodile enclosure and taunted the animals with sticks and a catapult was dragged into the water and eaten.



The nine-year-old, whose family name was given as Liu, and three friends sneaked into the crocodile park at the Silver Beach holiday resort at Beihai in the southwestern Guangxi region on Friday.

The children shot at the animals with catapults and beat them with sticks.

The official Xinhua news agency said: “One of the irritated crocodiles bit Liu’s clothes and dragged him into the water where he was eaten by a swarm of crocodiles.” His companions then raised the alarm.

Investigators searched for the missing boy and decided to check inside the crocodiles. Snipers used pork to lure them out of their pool and shot dead the first animal to lumber on to the bank.

Inside it they found human remains that were confirmed to be those of the boy.

The crocodiles were still being bred, even though their performances at the park were stopped several years ago and the pool had been sealed off for auction.

The park’s owner had hired a keeper to take care of the crocodiles, but it was unclear why the man was not at the enclosure when the boys broke in. The manager and the keeper were being questioned by police.

Animal welfare has long been a low priority in China, where many zoos have for years provided bare and often squalid pens for animals that spend their entire existence in the public eye. Even at the Beijing Zoo, the prized pandas must now be cordoned off well out of reach of visitors. People have in the past tossed food wrapped in plastic bags into their pens which destroyed the digestive system of at least one of the endangered animals.

The latest scandal to attract public attention came last year in Shanghai when a city zoo cancelled its “Animal Olympics” after shows featuring boxing matches between kangaroos and their keepers, bears fighting and riding bicycles and an elephant tug-of-war drew unwelcome publicity. The event was cancelled after animal rights groups posted reports and pictures on the internet.

Labels: photoshop

Check out this picture from 1996 of me and Cactus Jack.




I was so embarrassed that he was wearing the same shirt as me.

Labels: photoshop

Here's a picture of me in first grade, click the picture to see a picture of my whole first grade class.

Labels: photoshop

I don't drive with my fucking hands cause I don't want to, I drive with my fucking knee dude.

Labels: driving

Murda, murda, murda, kill, kill, kill
Murda, murda, murda, kill, kill, kill (I'm going to kill [echoes])

Walking down the Walk of Fame in Hollywood when I spotted Jason from the Friday The 13th movies.



Hey if Nightmare On Elm Street ever gets up to number 13 they should call it Freddy The 13th.

I don't know how to describe this one so I'll just tell you I don't know how to describe it and let you watch it.


Hope you like it.

My twin brother Packoff is home from college on Spring Break. I set up the hidden camera to try to catch him in a candid moment.

Oh shit, I woke up late, here I am driving into work, hope I make it on time.

Labels: driving

Did you know Kris Kross spell their names with K's instead of C's?

They did everything backwards.

Man I just let my dog outside and it was like zero degress out there, and I saw some snow on the ground, not a whole bunch, just a lil. I can't believe that a few weeks ago it was really nice outside and I was driving my bike.

I don't know about all this global warming stuff, cause it's pretty cold outside. I kinda wish it was global warming, cause I like warmth a lil more than coldth.

Zero to forty in five seconds, or pretty close to five seconds.





Ever fail a drug test?

I did, back in 11th grade, I couldn't tell the difference between China White and powered Cocaine, and I had no idea what a 8-ball was, I straight up put "Black ball with a number 8 on it" as my answer on the test.

Labels: driving

Uncombable hair syndrome is a rare structural anomaly of the hair shaft with variable penetrance . It may become first apparent from 3 months to 12 years of age. The hair is normal in quantity andis usually silvery-blond or straw-colored. It is disorderly, it stands out from the scalp, and cannot be combed flat.


The underlying structural anomaly is longitudinal grooving of the hair shaft, which appears triangular or kidney-shaped in cross section. Affected individuals often have a negative family history, though the characteristic hair shaft anomaly can be demonstrated in asymptomatic family members by scanning electron microscopy. To be clinically apparent, 50 % of hairs must be affected by the structural abnormality.

Spontaneous improvement often occurs in later childhood. Pili canaliculi have also been described associated with features of ectodermal dysplasia, and are a constant, though less pronounced finding, in the loose anagen hair syndrome. Autosomal-dominant inheritance is likely. The stiffness of the uncombable hair has been explained by the triangular form of the hair shaft in cross section. It has been suggested that the condition may result from premature keratinization of the inner root sheath. Diagnosis is suspected at clinical examination and confirmed through visualization of the hair shaft anomaly.

This is a very limited edition t-shirt. I'm only gonna keep it online until I sell 100 shirts, once I sell 100 shirts I'm taking it off and you'll never be able to buy it again.

Think of it this way, you're paying $15.40 for something you and only 99 other people in the world will ever have. It's a collectors item.

I'm gonna buy one for myself so really theres only 99 shirts out there, get one while you can.

Labels: tshirt

Elvis Perkoffly is in the building.